PAGING MISS KIM: Big Dog takes night shift, gives urgent warning

HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGY IN THE WINDOW: We have this morning received reports that Big Dog, town mascot, is not leaving anything to chance for Sunday’s game.

It’s understood that the dog was let out, having freed himself from his nighttime leash, as he was not prepared to leave his city in a time of need. We did catch him say:

“GRRRRRUFFF - MY TOWN, MY RULES, DON’T LET ME CATCH A SYDNEY RESIDENT ON THESE STREETS - RUUFFGRRRRRGRUFF’

We couldn’t decipher the growls to quite follow what Big Dog had to say, though midnight through the conversation he grabbed a barbecue chook, straight from the bachelors handbag, snapped it in half, and swallowed that warning whole.

The community are urged to keep a safe distance from the dog, unless they can clearly show they are a Novo and not a Sydney Sider.

Newcastle City Council and their rangers were contacted for comment.